Crawling?

Clara got up on all fours yesterday and did a little shimmy. It wasn't exactly a crawl, but still pretty exciting! Evelyn seems to be a little limited by her massive head :) Between the size and the persistent tilt, she's lagging a little bit behind Clara. Both girls are sitting up unsupported though - Clara for maybe 10 minutes; Evelyn has to be really convinced to do it, but she will eventually for 2-3 minutes.

That all - good week!

Take care,
Kris

Sitting and another rant

The girls are both working on sitting up unsupported. Clara's more of a rock star - she can sit for maybe 30 seconds before falling over. Evelyn clocks in closer to 10 seconds. It's exciting for us to see them progress, but still a little sad because it's happening on a delayed schedule. I had to take Clara to the doctor last week for a bunch of small things that would have never triggered worry with a healthy baby, but with her sent me on a "just in case" visit to the doctor. Anyway, the nurse asked me to sit her on the scale for her weigh-in (14 lbs 13 oz) and when I said she couldn't sit up yet, the nurse gave me a funny look. Or what I'll call the, "Well, she's 8 months old - why can't she sit up yet??" look. It's difficult to think that your baby has come so far only to see that other people still only see deficits.

While we were there I had the doctor go ahead and feel Evelyn's head to make sure it's not bulging anymore. He said it felt fine. They'll go in for their next well baby visit in a couple weeks for a more thorough appointment. I was glad to get the head feel though - every time Evelyn cries or spits up, I'm convinced the fluid on her brain is building up and causing pressure.

On to other news...I took all three kids to the aquarium which was a terrible idea. Alex is hit or miss there and, even though he had been talking about it for days, when he got there he was a disaster. I went into survival mode and was just trying to get through as quickly as possible. That's when I heard some women talking about the twins. I tried to put my head down and forge ahead (totally not in the mood to have people gawk at them). That's when she grabbed my arm, pulled me back and said, "Excuse me Miss, my friend didn't get a good look at your babies." Really?? Can you believe that?? It's just like having one baby, only there are two. Get over it!! I am sick of everyone feeling like they have a right to my babies. (Another example - on the last day of my road trip - not in a good mood by day 10 - I was trying to get everyone fed at a Qdoba and some lady grabbed a bottle and started feeding Evelyn. Honest to God, who do these people think they are??). Back to the aquarium...as I'm trying to get away from arm grabbing lady, I spot a couple with a set of twins. I asked the dad when people start to leave you alone in public and he shook his head and said, "Never. It never goes away." He also told me that people have actually taken photographs of his twins. Again, who the Hell are these people? Why can't they leave us alone? These babies are not part of the exhibit.

All grumping aside, the girls are doing well. The tooth cutting extravaganza seems to have subsided and they are back to their normal, happy selves. They love anyone talking or singing to them. Evelyn just started ba-ba-ba-ing a few days ago which is really cute. I think I've gotten their motor progress back to where it was before the vacation. Now, we just keep moving forward, keep progressing.

Take care,
Kris

See you later, Apria

Apria, our medical supplier, came today to pick up all the oxygen tanks and the pulse oximeter (finally!). Our house is free!! And, more importantly, we are done dealing with those jokers. We've been pretty thankful people - we sent thank you baskets to perinatal and the NICU. I wrote a thank you letter to our insurance company. We've felt really blessed and fortunate to have such good care. Now....that being said....the biggest exception has been our oxygen supplier who has managed to set a new bar for craptastic customer service. Even today, they didn't do what they said they were going to do. Way to go out with a bang, guys. Time after time these people have made an already difficult life situation even more difficult. They should be ashamed of themselves for how much worse they make things for families who are already in crisis. They've come hours late or not come at all. They've brought the wrong equipment. They've brought equipment they themselves don't know how to use. They've not send test results to our doctors. They've not returned phone calls. In gentle terms....we hate them. Or as our doctor once said, "You are the first person to complain about Apria.....today."

Unfortunately, their competitors are just as bad.

But he does not own Scooby Doo underwear

Day 2 of road trip...

We got dressed and ready to start our second day. Alex was walking around the hotel room getting his shirt on when I noticed he was wearing Scooby Doo underwear. May not sound strange but…he does not own Scooby Doo underwear.

We drove, drove, drove. Drove through Park City. Drove through Provo where I had to pull over so Alex could pee off the side of the road (lovely). Eventually we reached our first stop – Salt Lake City. I live in Denver and I’m very aware of a kind of mythical view of Denver by outsiders. Like a magical mountain town full of log cabins or something. So, I don’t know why I imagined SLC to be some mythical mountain town, but it’s a total and complete dump. My mother used to live there a long time ago and absolutely hated it. Seriously…ask her some day. She practically seizes at the thought of the place. Now, I don’t know the exact reasons why she hates it so much, but I do know why I hated it. It’s a nasty, brown, smog-fest. It looks dirty. The streets are numerical instead of named (I know, I know….sounds stupid, but as a tourist it was very confusing). And the area I visited was full of the most ridiculous collection of women I’ve ever seen. Women in their 40’s and 50’s absolutely refusing to dress age appropriately. I saw a women with her two teenage daughters and she was dressed exactly like them. At some point, you need to put some damn clothes on, stop label chasing so much, and tone down on the Bedazzler. No one thinks you look 22. Everyone thinks you look sad.

Anyway, we stopped at a children’s museum that was nearly impossible to navigate with all three kids. Children’s museums are best when all the children you have with you can actually explore on their own. I was limited because a huge section was “stroller free” leaving me with an area that was too old for Alex and one small little room. I took him to that small little room and let him build things, play with cupcake cups, and touch things. It was about as much fun as it sounds.

After the basically unsuccessful trip to the children’s museum, we stopped by a food court and I had a moment full of pride. I was rocking Clara in the stroller, feeding Evelyn a bottle in my lap, talking to Alex, and eating a slice of pizza. I wished someone had a camera or something.

We got back on the road and drove through the Salt Flats. Okay, so I had no idea that something called a Salt Flat even existed. Apparently you race on them and they are quite famous. When I told my brother in law what a pleasant surprise they were he looked at me and said, “World’s Fastest Indian??” When my face showed no glimmer of recognition he shook his head at me and gave me the saddest look of pity. I’ve seen that face before…on me…when I can’t believe Greg has never seen The Brady Bunch or Better Off Dead. Anyway, I was incredibly surprised and awed by hugeness of them. There is no way to adequately describe them or photograph the breadth of them. It’s sort of like an ocean of salt – just huge, vast, blindingly white everywhere you look. And at one point along the Flats there is a big, art tree thing. It looked like large, colored baseballs.

We stopped in Elko, Nevada to go the Northeastern Nevada Museum. Okay, here’s the thing – there’s a place in Houston called The Orange Show where this guy transformed his home into a work of art celebrating, among other things, his love of the fruit. It’s amazing and I appreciate anyone with that kind of devotion to detail. However, the guy clearly suffered from some sort of mental illness. Local artists and others have kept the Orange Show running and you can go see it for yourself. I believe most people going through there, as well as the employees, are kind of in on the joke. “Joke” doesn’t really sound right, but you know what I mean. Now the Northeastern Nevada Museum gave me a similar vibe – only I don’t think anyone else is in on the joke. We walked in and to the right there’s a large room filled with taxidermy. Filled. Hundreds of them. Lions, deer, bears, monkeys…you name it. Some are kind of grouped together- there’s an Africa part, a rock climbing quadruped part, etc. The two things that made me laugh out loud were the dead animals posed to look like they were attacking other dead animals (seemed undignified to me) and the elephant head that was mounted on a wall with the rest of the elephant painted as a mural. The place had to be the work of a mildly crazy person. Alex, by the way, loved the big, creepy room.

We walked to the other side of the museum and they had these sweet little dioramas of frontier life. I imagined the meetings in which people planned these out and designed them. As I wandered past the dioramas I encountered something else totally insane. Case after case after case of a gun collection. I wondered if each gun was used to kill one of the animals in the adjoining room. The whole place gave me a mixture of delight and uneasiness. And I’d recommend it to anyone travelling through Elko, Nevada.

We stopped at a nearby park to let Alex run around and give the girls a chance to stretch out on a blanket. Naturally, we met a set of twins there because, God forbid, we go anywhere and don’t meet a twin. After everyone was appropriately fed (including me, thank you very much) we were off to Winnemucca. The drive was largely uneventful except for my little joy at driving through a place called Pumpernickel Valley. I just liked the idea of that place.

Before visiting Winnemucca I only knew about it from reading the Tales of the City books. I knew it as a place with legalized brothels. After visiting Winnemucca (twice, actually, we stopped there on the way home), I basically still only know it as a place with legalized brothels. Not the most exciting place. But our motel with decent (a much cleaner version of the Swedish Inn in Kingsburg, CA). The woman checking me was, you guessed it, one half of a twin pair. Seriously…can’t avoid them. We settled in and got to sleep at a reasonable hour thanks to a time change working on our favor.

The next glorious morning, all the kids slept in until 8:00.

Minor step backwards

Evelyn and Clara saw their therapist today. A combination of the road trip, a cold, and teething (both girls are cutting 4 teeth right now), has made therapy a secondary concern. They've regressed a little bit and the therapist is estimating it'll take about a month to get them back to where they were before we left town.

What are you going to do, though? We have to leave the house and live our lives. The therapist was quick to say that it's okay and that the trip gave them an opportunity to learn a different set of skills, blah blah blah.

I'm disappointed and frustrated. I mean...come on....

Seeing clearly (almost)

Greg took the babies to the eye doctor today. They are are greater risk for all sorts of vision issues because they were preemies and, although they were cleared for ROP, they still need to be watched more carefully than most babies.

Both girls are slightly far-sighted and have minor astigmatisms. However, this is pretty normal and they were cleared for additional check-ups until they turn 2 years old. Had they shown near-sightedness, they'd have needed to go back in 6 months. So..yay for them!

I am being the best mommy I can be right now

I've got 10 days worth of a road trip diary. I'm thinking that it's too long and with too many details that only entertain me to post any more on the blog. So...here's Day 1. The rest will likely not be making the Third Floor Home cut.

I returned Friday from a 10 day road trip with a three year old and two seven month olds. As a recently benched career woman, I was eagerly looking forward to spending some time out on the road and invigorating my soul a bit by getting out of the house. Sure, I’d have company…and not particularly understanding company. Company prone to crying and generally being unpleasant. But I was determined. And besides, I wanted to go celebrate my niece’s second birthday. I haven’t spent nearly as much time with her as I have with my four year old niece – and not for the obvious reason of the elder niece being alive for two more years. I’ve actually spent less time with her because, for half of her life, I have been on constant medical alert. Now that things are easing up, I want to have her in my life more.

So I set off on a road trip. When thinking about things that happened to me as a child or even month ago, I can recall only vague, fuzzy details. I wanted to commit this vacation to written word so I would never forget the large and small joys and the equally important fights, tears, and irritation.

I planned the trip for a long time. It sounds unlikely, but it really, truly took hours and hours to properly organize, map out, and plan a trip that involves so many children and a single parent. I decided to break up my three days of driving into roughly an hour in the morning, a two hour break somewhere to explore local attractions, eat, and use the restroom. I would then drive for three hours during the long twin naptime. The long drive would be followed by another attraction, eating, and restrooming break, and then a final two hours of driving in the evening. After many hours of planning, color coded spreadsheets, a 3-ring binder, and several lists including contents for a variety of travel receptacles (including “Big suitcase contents” “Day bag” “Hotel bag” “Food box” and “Surprise toys”) I was all set to go. We had a minor set back when our destination was plagued by several wildfires that compromised the health of the air quality and, in turn, posed a threat to Clara’s healing lungs. Finally, the air quality cleared up and we were cleared to make the trip.

By 10:00 we were all packed up and on the road heading toward Ft. Collins to visit Swetsville Zoo. I was concerned immediately. Alex threw a tantrum right way. He kept asking, “Is the road trip open yet?” Apparently I hadn’t done an adequate job explaining what a road trip was. He also continued to ask, “Why is it taking so long?” All this and we were only 45 minutes into an 18 hour drive together. I finally explained in a way acceptable to a three year old that the road trip was a process and that he needed to be patient. He finally accepted these facts and moved on to other “why” questions including “Why are pirates mean to other people?” and “Why am I three years old?”

We arrived at Swetsville Zoo more or less on time. It’s not an actual zoo, but rather a collection of metal sculptures mostly in the shapes of dinosaurs and monsters and insects. In other words….Alex loved it. Better than the sculptures to my three year old son, however, was the opportunity to pee in an outhouse. The kid could not stop laughing. After we ooh-ed and ahh-ed at all the dinosaurs, we sat down to eat. The girls tolerated the stroller and the bottle feeding while sitting at a picnic table. Alex ate his peanut butter sandwich, pudding, and goldfish crackers. I was in a groove. Never mind that it didn’t occur to me until a couple hours later that everyone got fed except me.

Following Swetsville was my most ambitious driving segment of the entire trip – four hours. I had planned my one hour, three hour, two hour plan as well as possible, but was greatly limited by the towns along the way that could actually boast any kind of attraction fancier than a gas station and adjoining Pizza Hut. The drive was beautiful. Really, really beautiful. Colorado and Wyoming are gorgeous places and I felt really relaxed. A feeling I haven’t had in a year. I’ve been so wound up, so worried, so constantly in motion that this long, beautiful drive actually felt less like I was careening at 82 mph and more like I was standing still while a series of slides flew past me. Of course, this feeling was interrupted every 30 minutes or so while I pulled over (safely) to retrieve a binky or a Mr. Potato Head arm. Greg had reconfigured our minivan to put the girls in the back, Alex right behind me, and leaving the second seat in Alex’s row at home, next to our washing machine. This left a cavernous space where I could get in and out easily. It had a couple other significant side effects. 1) I could more easily hear whatever random question or request Alex asked of me and 2) the piercing scream of my babies was a few feet further away. Not out of earshot, certainly, but further away.

Along this drive I spotted a coyote running along the side of the highway. I decided to start a wildlife count. Note: my count ended up totaling 1 as I decided not to count the dead deer I saw on Day 10.

We had to stop in the middle of the four hour drive to feed the babies. We stopped at a gas station/Subway combo. Having recently had a terrifying dream about a Subway, I moved us swiftly to the gas station portion to purchase a snack. I met a woman and her daughter who told me the daughter was half of a boy/girl twin set. The girl’s name was Miriana (rhymes with piranha) and the boy’s name was…..Bert. You know, like you do.

Because of this unscheduled stop, we missed the operating hours of Western Wyoming Community College and the dinosaur exhibit inside. Not a problem, I thought. I thought, “I can be relaxed and groovy. I don’t need to follow my spreadsheet exactly.” I decided I could be flexible (well, by one standard deviation anyway…I mean, good God, I do have an innate need to stay on task. I can’t just change my whole plan) and come up with a Plan B. Plan B ended up more or less defining any extra time we had on the trip. We found a nice grassy area where the girls could spread out on a blanket, where Alex could run around, and where we could all have a snack. It also became the first of many places Alex dropped his pants and peed outdoors. It’s actually kind of a pain to corral three kids to find a restroom quickly enough to satisfy Alex’s need to “go right now.” So, I’m not proud, but I encouraged this urine marking tour of the West by my son.

After everyone had stretched out and peed, we stopped and grabbed a quick bite at McDonald’s where a man actually said this to me, “Are they twins? God really shouldn’t do that, should he?” How exactly am I meant to respond to comments like that? As I was fuming and trying to formulate some kind of witty response (that never materialized, by the way, and I really burned him by submissively nodding and saying, “Mmmm.”) Alex turned to me and said, “Mommy, why does everyday people always ask ‘Are they twins’?” A question I have wondered too. It drives me crazy.

We finally reached our hotel, got settled, and after several arguments, finally got into bed. I found myself saying for about the 15th time that day, “I am being the best mommy I can be right now.” It became my mantra.

Alex went to sleep that night continuing to argue with me about not being tired. He fell asleep mid-sentence. He woke up the following morning not realizing he had ever slept. He woke up saying, “Mommy, I’m….not…..tired!” How can you fight that kind of resolve?