Open invitation

If anyone is interested in dinner at our place on Sunday at 5:30, email me at khightshoe@gmail.com. We're pot-lucking it in a totally non-Al Gore friendly fashion with paper plates.

Also, I was flipping through some old pictures and thought this was pretty funny. The photo of me in the orange shirt was taken around 5 months (hello, twin pregnancy much?). I look reasonably well-rested, right?

Now check out the photos of me in the black shirt a couple days before I delivered (you can tell because my arm is all bandaged up from the IV). I asked Greg to take this photo because I was having a "pretty" day. This is a cautionary photo about living in a hospital for almost 6 weeks. How scary that I thought I looked "pretty" when, if fact, I looked like a zombie. My apologies to the hospital staff for having to look at my ravaged face for so long :)

Yikes!

Take care,

Kris

Good news (and no bad news - hurray!)

Lots of good news. The girls had their third therapy appointment yesterday and the therapist was very impressed by the amount of progress they've made in such a short amount of time. Progress is measured more subtly than you'd think - it's not like they are crawling or anything - it's more that they are tolerating tummy time a lot better, they are showing increased range of movement in their heads, pushing up with their arms, etc. I did express some concern because I feel like all I do all day long is therapy exercises and I think the girls' good nature is being affected by all the work. They are, after all, 5 1/2 months old. It seems like a lot of work for little wee ones. The therapist said they are fine. She said they need this and if they are overstimulated or tired they will simply fall asleep. It still seems a little cruel to work your baby so hard to the point of exhaustion and I think I will still be careful about giving them breaks so they can just lay back and smile and coo, but I see her point. She said all this tummy time should shave off 3 months of delay and all the additional exercises will make that go faster. She also said that we're clearly doing a good job - that you don't see this kind of progress unless the parents are really following the homework assignments. So...gold star to Greg and me!

Clara had a pulmonology appointment today and all looks well on that front. She's still on target to have another pulse ox test to get her off oxygen completely. We're looking at mid to late June to schedule the test. We weighed Clara (and while no one was looking, I threw Evelyn on the scale for good measure). Clara is 12 lbs 5 oz and 24 inches (age adjusted 50th percentile for height and weight....her head is 95th). Evelyn, our chunk, is 15lbs 3 oz. No stats on her since I was weighing her on the sly.

The girls and I swung by Perinatal and the NICU while we were there and got to see some of our nurses. One of the nurses said Perinatal actually closed for a few days because there weren't enough sick pregnant ladies (or, rather, they were so sick they were bypassing Perinatal and going straight to L&D). We laughed about the need for sick pregnant ladies and job security. You certainly don't want people to have unhealthy, high risk pregnancies, but if it's your job....you kinda do.

We also had some out of town guests this week. My sister and family came into town and we had a great visit. The kids were very cute together and Alex is really sad now and misses his cousins. Everyone had a good time and Greg and Paul got to get their full dose of the power of my sister and me being in the same room together. If you don't like snarky, sassy, judgmental ladies...we're probably not for you.

Oh...and I figured out how to go to the store with both babies. One in the car seat on the shopping cart and one in the front carrier. Yay me! It's funny though because I usually do like to figure this stuff out by myself. I was reading Freezerbun's comments about her newly discovered Baby A and Baby B and someone posted about needing to get in touch with the multiples societies for support. I've gotten that advice a million times and, as anyone who knows me well can attest, the best way to keep me from doing something is to push me too hard. As soon as you say, "You have to do X" or "You need to do X" I've stopped listening. I'd love to come up with some positive sounding euphemism for this trait of mine, but the reality is that it is nothing but stubborn. I'm self-aware enough to know this and too old to care or try to change it. So...I will not be contacting multiples groups. I will figure this out of my own! Believe me, I've made life decisions (big and small) to go against what I've been told I have to do. Not that it keeps me from giving too much unsolicited advice to other people....I'm not perfect. I'm contradictory. And I don't really care :) Besides, the thought of going to a Multiples Picnic kind of freaks me out.

Take care,
Kris

Seating charts

Completely random thoughts today and not particularly baby related...

Mimi and I went for a walk around Wash Park which felt like 8 miles but was only 4.4. We saw this hardcore group of exercising stroller moms kicking and lunging there way through the park. Very impressive...and not at all something I want to do.

Also today, I was watching The Paper on MTV (Whatever, I'll own it. I will also own voting for American Idol last night. I'm not ashamed). Anyway, these ridiculous high school kids were complaining about their whole year being ruined because their teacher gave them a new seating chart. Can you all remember a time when a seating chart actually seemed like a big deal? In light of my last year and the past year for a ton of friends, I can't even remember a simpler time like that. I would love, love, love to have such an amazing worry-free life that a seating chart ruined my day.

Not much to report on the baby front. The girls had therapy yesterday. Clara was in a great mood and handled the bolster and the big ball like a champ. Evelyn....not so much. She was not in what I'd call a "good" mood. But, through the screaming, I think we got a few more good exercises to work on. Also yesterday, for fun, I thought I'd venture to a store with all three kids by myself. It was You Tube worthy. I could actually feel my hair frazzling as each second ticked by. We all survived, however, and managed to get out of there injury-free so I'm calling it a success. The problem is having a stroller and a shopping cart. There must be some trick to this I haven't figured out yet. If anyone knows anyone with twins who can offer up suggestions, I'm open to hearing them.

Take care,
Kris

p.s. this will not make sense to most, but I was telling Mimi about Alissa's stupid bird Pootie. It got me all heated up and angry just thinking about that stupid, stupid bird. How grudge holding am I that I'm still irritated about a bird who was in my life 12 years ago??? I have issues. Or maybe I just hate birds. I'm looking at you too White Bird.

Cannula-free photos

We had our first unofficial Sunday night dinner tonight - unofficial because we only invited Lex and Becky and Andy (however, I'll consider it "official-ish" since it was on a Sunday and involved dinner). Andy's a big, big boy now - you'd never know he was a 37-weeker weighing under 6 lbs at birth. He also makes these amazing little noises. He's gonna a be a verbal little kid. I'll post when we're feeling brave enough to invite a whole big group over for dinner. I'm thinking week after next.

Anyway, Clara and Evelyn got their first taste of rice cereal this weekend. Doc said it's a little early to try it, but sometimes kids with reflux hold it down better than fluid. The girls sort of humored us and ate some of it - enough of it, I guess, that we'll try again tomorrow.

Other than that, just wanted to post some photos of cannula-free Clara. Enjoy!

Evelyn

Where'd your cannula go?

Cannula-free!

I'm never in any pictures anymore (always the photographer) so I made Greg snap a few. Lisa and Schmink....the necklace is my first attempt.

Me with Clara

Me with Evelyn (nice face, eh?)

Evelyn smiling in the outfit from Aunt Ariane

Clara smiling in her outfit from Aunt Ariane

I know! I still can't believe I'm off that cannula either!!

Now they finally look identical

Take care,

Kris

Someone call VH1...

...because Clara is having the Best Week Ever! I spoke with her doctor today and she did so well on her 1/32 nighttime pulse ox test (average 94%, under 88% for less than 1.2 % of the time) that we got to take her off daytime oxygen. I got to look at my beautiful girl's face without a cannula for hours today. She's gorgeous :) Doc said we'd test her with no oxygen during nighttime in 3-4 weeks to see if she can come off completely. He seemed surprised that she was already doing so well given his original estimate of late summer for daytime and end of year for nighttime. She's a scrapper!

Photos to follow.

Take care,
Kris

Physical Therapy

The girls had their first home therapy appointment today. They'll do this every Tuesday until....probably at least age 3. The therapist is allergic to dogs so, you know, home visits were a good career choice for her.

Here's an account of the session, or at least what I heard of it through the loud barking noise coming from my closed bedroom door: the best thing for the girls is a ton of tummy time. They'll get 10 five-minute sessions a day and we're supposed to lay toys out all around their line of vision to help them with their preferences to turn to one side. It kind of looks like a big McDonald's "M" with a baby inside each of the humps. We're also supposed to make sure that when they're on their backs or in a sitting position they have toys in both hands. And a few other little exercises I won't bore anyone with. The good thing we learned was both girls are easily opening and closing their hands which, apparently, is a good sign that there isn't serious neurological damage. So...yay us!

Take care,
Kris

Mother's Day

First of all...congratulations to Freezerbuns!!! Mama Wannabe - you're up next.

Mother's Day has been extra special this year. On the surface it didn't seem so fancy - got to sleep in until 9:30 (thank you, Greg), got a wonderful necklace with the December birthstone (thanks again, Greg), and went to a BBQ. But this year I'm just over the top happy with my lovely family. Since I'm not particularly demonstrative, I'm not exactly sure how to put it into words....I guess it's just that this year I had to fight really hard as a mother. Harder than I ever imagined. I doubted myself a lot, had moments of sadness, brushed myself off, and got to celebrate my kids. I'm so proud of Alex and all his strengths. Watching him play and create takes my breath away. I cannot believe we created this magnificent little guy. And the girls are these amazing, gorgeous little fighters. They've struggled and come out victoriously more in 5 months than I have in 31 years. Alex, Evelyn, and Clara are the best things I've ever had the opportunity and privilege to have in my life. They are all beautiful, extraordinary, fantastic little kids. And even though I've been short tempered these days (sorry, Greg and Alex), I cannot state strongly enough how lucky I am to have this family.

Without getting into any detail, something else happened this week that gave us some perspective and really forced us to look at how connected we are to our friends and family. This can be a lonely world and I think that especially now that I'm a stay at home mom I'm really treasuring my time with my friends. Greg and I were thinking about just setting up a standing Sunday night dinner where everyone is invited every week. We figured some weeks one person would show up, others none, and others 6. I just really like the idea of creating a family atmosphere where we can all just sit back and enjoy knowing each other. Since I don't live near my own family, I miss that sense of feeling completely at ease around people. I miss having relationships where you can just call and say, "Hey, I'm watching Bones....wanna come over?" I miss feeling like whoever is at my house won't care about my haphazard ponytail or my screaming kids. I want to reconnect in way that I don't feel like I have to entertain. So, we'll figure out of we can get our chaos under control and open our house to everyone.

On this Mother's Day I also want to send all my love to all the moms in my life. So to Mom, Maggie, Mandy, and Marlene... thank you all for supporting, encouraging, and unconditionally loving me and my family.

Big loves to everyone.

Take care,
Kris

But she'd be so lonely...

Greg and I were talking the other day about how we can't imagine (or remember) what having only one baby would be (was) like. We're so used to seeing them on the floor together that our reaction is, "But if there were only baby, she'd be so lonely!" I guess that's a step in the right direction for me getting over the weirdness of having identicals.

We got our first IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan) for the girls that goes over their strengths, deficits, goals, and homework. We're supposed to work on getting them to hold toys, pull up with an unsupported neck, and tummy time 10 times a day. 10 times a day is proving more challenging than it sounds because you also want them to be in a good mood and since tummy time = terrible mood it's hard to want to do it. But, it's important so we're trying our hardest.

Other than that, not much news about the girls to report. I'm not feeling particularly sorry for myself today so I don't have any long-winded emotional thoughts to run through. My brain is pretty empty right now since the girls are asleep and Alex is at school today. Last week marked the beginning of him being home with me two days a week. How did day 1 go, you ask? Well, if my stained carpet, backed up toilet, and frazzled hair were any indication....I'd give myself a solid D+. Oh well, it'll get better.

Okay, new pics of the girls (and, yes, I know they look exactly like Alex):

Take care,

Kris

Bringing Home Baby

I kept hearing about an episode of Bringing Home Baby that followed momo twins. Yesterday I finally saw it - or at least the last 20 minutes or so. Because I missed the very beginning I didn't hear any of the details about her perinatal hospitalization or gestational age at birth. The girls were in the NICU for about 4 weeks so I'm assuming they came out via scheduled c-section around 33 or 34 weeks. One had to come home on some monitors, but no oxygen or anything. About 1/4 of the episode was spent on how the dogs were handling the babies which was a very interesting given all they'd been through to spend so much time talking about the dogs - rookie parent concern :). Whatever. Anyway, the part when I finally called Greg outraged was when the dad said that 2 months later you could really see the size difference between the girls. One was 10 lbs and one was 9 1/2 lbs. I actually yelled at the screen, "Are you kidding me???" Greg told me to turn off the TV.

He's given similar advice when it comes to the momo support website and forums ("Turn off the computer"). Here's how it breaks down - somewhere between 20 and 50% of momo twins die prior to viability. Of those who survive, most (about 75%) are born by a scheduled c-section after 33 weeks and most have little or no lasting health issues. I'm happy for these folks but it drives me crazy to hear about them because it's not my experience. The forums are the worst - especially when these moms (or, even worse, the moms who were misdiagnosed as momo...those ladies need to get off my support website) throw out advice to newly diagnosed women. It's fine to be so optimistic, but to ignore the very real risks associated with prematurity is dangerous business. Yes, many of the kids are fine, but some (like mine) have to fight a little harder. And I know that my situation could be a lot worse. To make it all sound so peachy and like the perinatal hospitalization is the worst of it is unfair to families like mine. Please....that hospitalization was the easy part. The hard part was the NICU, the brain ultrasounds, the respirators, the oxygen, the MRIs, the medicine, the therapy, the eye exams (think Clockwork Orange), the rehospitalizations, etc.

I think also people want to hurry up and get to our happy ending. I think that's why we get lots of comments like, "Oh it sounds like everything is going well." I think people (myself included) are tired of all this. Believe me, I wish more than anyone that I could say, "Yes, everything is going very well. The girls are really catching up and thriving." I cannot wait for that day. Unfortunately I think it'll be awhile.

Sorry, some days I still feel kind of sorry for myself.

Take care,
Kris