Competitive NICU mom

I've become what I've feared. I'm now comparing Clara and Evelyn's progress with other babies. Well, actually, one baby in particular. There was another "lifer" on Perinatal with me who delivered a boy at 30w 3d five days after I gave birth. Naturally, her son had no brain bleed, was larger than Clara, and is completely on room air - no cannula or anything. Oh and his mom is producing so much breast milk that the NICU cannot accommodate all her bottles. Meanwhile I'm anxiously awaiting Clara's follow-up brain ultrasound, trying to fight back tears as the doctor tells me that they've had to increase both girls oxygen needs (again), and I'm pumping out about as much milk as a 65 year old man. Apparently I'm one of, like, 2% of women who's breast milk is completely unaffected by Reglan. It's super fun to be hooked up to the pump 4 hours a day for little drip drops of milk. And, seriously, can't we catch a break on their breathing? I think we're looking at at least 6 more weeks in the NICU and it's getting more and more likely that they'll come home on oxygen. I just want to see their beautiful faces without all the tubes and now who knows when that'll happen. So - it's ridiculous to compare them to the 30 weeker, but it's impossible not to. I know that these girls were in distress in utero for a long, long time and that we should be so thankful they even got out alive, but it's really hard when you get your hopes up and you finally find some optimism and then they keep taking steps backward on their breathing.

All that aside, some things are going well. They both tried the bottle today and did well. Hopefully this means we can wean them off the feeding tubes soon. We're also very thankful they are gaining weight and not having any trouble with their GI systems. And, certainly, we're thrilled they are off the CPAPs, IVs, and out of the bili lights. So it's not all doom and gloom. Just a little bit :) Mostly when I catch myself really thinking about the loss of a regular pregnancy and a regular set of newborns. I had figured the NICU would be the hardest part of this experience and, despite the doctors telling me that the NICU would be easier than imagined, I'm finding it really difficult. I'm simply tired of being so sad and worried and disappointed all the time.

On to other news....I'm starting back up working in the office tomorrow part-time until the girls are ready to come home. I need to reserve some leave time and I need to occupy my mind with something else. I can't sit in my house or the hospital all day and let this consume me anymore than it already does. I need to start functioning again.

That's it for now. I'll probably update again after we get Clara's scan redone. I don't think they are even going to attempt to take them down on their oxygen flow anytime soon so there's no other need to update on their progress. Assume no news means status quo.

Take care,
Kris

Desats, apnea, and open air cribs

I spoke with the doctor yesterday and she said Evelyn's having more desaturation and apnea spells than one would expect from someone her gestational age, but since she's a preemie there's no way to really say that she's unusual. It's mostly that folks are disappointed that she's not progressing a little faster. I'm guessing (and this is purely a guess) that it means she'll be in the NICU for a little longer to make sure she's caught up. I'm also wondering if it mean that she's at a greater risk for some respiratory issues like asthma later on in life. Who knows?

A couple nights ago they got moved to an open air crib. The little isolette was getting pretty crowded.

Clara's passed her birth weight (something she had done before and then she lost a bunch more - stinker). She's weighing in at 3 lbs 4 oz. Evelyn's slowly getting close to her birth weight. Yesterday she was 4 lbs 1/2 oz. I'm hoping that by today she's above her birth weight.

That's it. They're still on high flow cannulas until all the desats get under control.

Take care,
Kris

More pics - 33% less tragic

Sorry - these are all out of order. Now that they are off their IVs they get to co-bed together and they get to wear clothes. This makes them look considerably less tragic. They look more like babies and less like patients. No other real updates other than they both had to go back up to a high flow cannula. The low flow wasn't cutting it. Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone and take care.

-Kris

Photos

Kangaroo care with Clara

First time holding Evelyn - 4 days old

Evelyn

Clara

First time holding Clara - 4 days old

Clara

Evelyn's foot

Evelyn

I've got some more recent ones with them off the CPAPs and wearing clothes. I'll try to get them posted soon.

Take care,

Kris

Grade 1 hemorrhage

We found out last night that Clara has a Grade 1 intraventricular hemorrhage on the right side of her brain. If the nurse practioner and the internet are to be believed, a Grade 1 IVH is not that big of a deal and relatively common in preemies of Clara's size. Grades 3 and 4 are the ones of real concern. They'll re-ultrasound her in two weeks to make sure it's not any bigger.

Take care,
Kris

IV-BE-GONE Part II

Evelyn's off her IV. Clara is a little behind and probably won't go off for several more days. Evelyn also went down to a low flow nasal cannula (although I'm not all that sure she's going to stay on it). Clara should go on a low flow cannula tomorrow.

We got Evelyn's brain ultrasound results and they are normal. For some reason, Clara's hadn't been read yet. We're hoping to know the results in a few hours.

They are now eating more breastmilk than I can provide. I'm producing enough for one baby, but not two. I started taking Reglan to increase my supply - we'll see if that helps.

Take care,
Kris

Progress

The girls are doing well. Both are off the CPAP and on a high low nasal cannula. This makes them look much less tragic since they only have small tubes going into their noses now. Next step is a low flow cannula and then, eventually, weaning them off to room air. They both responded well to the medicine for their heart defect and both of their arteries closed. Both are also taking breast milk. Hopefully Evelyn will be taking in enough to get off her IV tomorrow with greatly lowers her risk of infection. Clara's a couple days behind Evelyn because she kept getting nasty gunk in her feeding tube thanks to the CPAP blowing stuff around. They got their brain scans today to look for IVH -we should get results back later today or tomorrow. Evelyn's had some apnea episodes and is now on caffeine. I thought I'd help things out by adding more Dr. Pepper into my diet before I pump :) Anyway, they said apnea is pretty normal at this stage as they wouldn't need to be remembering to breathe if they were still inside me. They'll just continue to watch for it and treat it when it comes up.

So, all that's really left is getting them off the IVs, getting their respiratory requirements down, and teaching them how to suck/eat. Once those are done, they just need to grow and get stronger.

I think that's it. Greg and I are excited about their progress. We're also very happy that we get to hold them a little now - once a day.

Take care,
Kris

Quick update

Hi everyone - sorry we've been kind of unresponsive and out of contact. The girls are doing fine. They were under bili lights for about three days and came out this morning. Every day the doctors are hopeful that they can come off the CPAPs and just use the nasal cannula and every day they're not quite ready. Maybe tomorrow -we'll see. They just need their lungs to get a little stronger. Evelyn has a had a few episodes where her heart rate goes down, but so far nothing too scary. They're both getting a little breastmilk fed through gavage. So far so good. They, along with every other baby in the NICU, had some constipation and got glycerin suppositories yesterday. I changed a poopy diaper today so it must of worked.

I finally got to hold them yesterday and today I got to do kangaroo care (skin on skin contact). Both girls did really well being held and it was the happiest I've been in awhile. Greg still hasn't gotten a chance to hold them - hopefully tomorrow or the next day.

When we're in the NICU we have to have our cell phones turned off, so I'm sorry if we're not getting back to people. We're just really overwhelmed by everything and all the emotions that we're feeling. I'm incredibly happy to be home, but it's bittersweet. It's difficult to be here when the girls are at the hospital and I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with them. We're also trying to get me healed and back on track relearning how to be at home.

In other exciting news, Lexie had her baby boy on Friday and Inbal had her baby girl today. All the floaters gave birth within a week of each other. We're all in the same carass.

Thanks to everyone who sent gifts and well wishes. We'll be in touch with folks as soon as things settle down a bit. In the meantime, I'll try to be better updating through the blog.

Take care,
Kris

CPAPs, PDAs and NICUs - our new reality

I wanted to update everyone on the girls. They're still having some respiratory issues - Clara more so than Evelyn. Both girls are off the ventilator and are using the CPAP. I think they're on some fancy version of CPAP that provides something extra - don't quote me on that though. This whole thing is a blur and I'm not always sure what the NICU people are telling us.

They did an ultrasound of their hearts to look for something called patent ductus arteriosus (PDA). PDA is a heart condition were one of the arteries doesn't close. It's common with preemies and with babies who have respiratory issues. Both girls have it and have started medicine to try to treat it. They get 3 doses of the medicine 12 hours apart. After the third dose, they'll check the hearts again to see if the artery closed. If not, they can try the treatment 2 more times. If it's still not effective, there is a chance (slim, I believe) that they'd need heart surgery. I'd love to try to explain it more, but I don't really understand it. Someone should have told us to take some anatomy classes or something before we had preemies in the NICU.

I think those are the major issues right now. We know more are coming up, but right now we're just to get them to breathe well.

Comfortably numb

Okay, here's what happened: Wednesday night my strip was really, really spotty because the girls were in constant motion. The nurse and the resident went ahead and took me off. Yesterday morning, my day nurse came in and said both the nurse practitioner and Dr. 34 weeks were pretty upset that the night folks had taken me off with such a spotty strip. They wanted me on as soon as possible so I got on right away before I could eat my breakfast (which turned out to be a good thing).

I got on the monitor and pretty quickly Clara's heart rate was really, really high. Then it dipped down to 63 bpm and then shot way, way up again. She was clearly in distress. I called the house and asked Greg to come right away. They got me started on the IV, oxygen, and got me in a gown and prepped in my room. The nurse practitioner, Barb, had me resign my consent form for surgery and under her and Dr. 34 week's advice, I opted out of the tubal ligation. They basically both recommended not making a decision like that during an emergency. The anesthesiologist came in and we went over the information about a spinal. Luckily, the situation was emergent, but not necessarily a crisis, so I got to be awake during the surgery. Had Clara's heart rate stayed low, I would've needed to go under general anesthesia.

They wheeled me back, got me my spinal, and got the curtain up. Greg got there and took his place next to me. I felt pretty sick because of the anesthesia and I was thrilled when the anti-nausea meds started to kick in - this is where I was really thankful I hadn't eaten. Any food would have made the emesis basin necessary :) They started the surgery and both girls came out at 9:10 - 40 seconds apart with Evelyn having the slight edge. Evelyn's cord was wrapped around her neck, Clara's cord was really compressed and she wasn't getting the blood she needed, and the knot of cord was pretty amazing. It was about the size of a tennis ball with at least 20 little weaves in and out.

Both girls came out crying. Evelyn's APGAR score were 9 and 9. Clara's were 7 and 9. They bundled them up, let me kiss them, then took them to the NICU. Greg went with them and I stayed back (obviously) to be stitched up. They had the radio on and (I swear I'm not kidding) Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd was playing. How funny is that given that I was, in fact, comfortably numb?

I really lucked out that I had a good team that I knew. Dr. 34 weeks did the surgery. Barb, the NP, assisted and one of my favorite nurses, Kathy, was there as well. Everyone was great about reducing the terrifying nature of everything. Kathy especially was fantastic and she graciously took pictures of the surgery and the cords.

As they were taking the cords out I heard Greg say, "Oh they're not bad.....oh wait, oh my God that's a big knot." The NP took the cords around the hospital staff so people could see momo cords.

The girls got started right away on some oxygen. They both have pretty immature lungs so they bumped them up to a CPAP, and eventually a ventilator (which means we can't hear them cry). Both girls are still on the ventilator. Evelyn's doing a little better and is only taking about 25-30% oxygen. Clara's needs are a little higher at 40-50% oxygen. She's getting distressed with light and a lot sound. They're currently trying to get her settled in a little bit to see if she'll relax and need less oxygen. Oh, and they also both got a dose of Surfactant to help the lungs from collapsing. Right now both girls are still in warmers. Once they stabilize, they'll be able to move into isolettes. Evelyn's IV keeps coming out and it's now in her head - which is really sad looking.

Overall, we're relieved they are out and safer. Given the knotting and the other issues, no one is second guessing the decision to deliver. But I'm not going to lie - it's really difficult to see them in the NICU and they are really small. We can touch them a little bit (no stroking) and hopefully we'll be able to hold them sometime in the next few days. I've started pumping and we're freezing the few precious drops for them to have once they can eat (again - hopefully in a few days).

I guess that's it for now. We're just watching them and hoping they stabilize. I'm recovering okay from the c-section. I'm on some pain meds, but the bigger issue is feeling like I have no abdominal muscles at all. Little things like sitting up are pretty difficult. At least the itching has gone away. It was the side effect of something in the spinal. I looked like a coke addict constantly scratching my nose all day yesterday.

Take care,
Kris

We have daughters!

At 9:10 this morning I delivered two little girls. Evelyn Kate was 4lbs 1 oz and 17 inches. Clara Elizabeth was 3 lbs 2 oz and 15 3/4 inches. They are in the NICU and doing okay. Both girls are having some respiratory issues, which is to be expected with 32 weekers. They make go on the ventilator later tonight.

Surgery went fine. I'll update more when I'm not so limited in my mobility.

Take care,
Kris

Would've been nice to know

Apparently I almost got delivered last night. No one bothered to tell me this until this morning. I guess they had all the staff watching my strips from the nurse's station and the resident had the on-call doctor on the phone and ready to go. Dr. 34 weeks talked to me today and has changed his tune a bit - he told me to be prepared for 32 weeks after last night. Sheesh! All this back and forth is driving me crazy. My strips today have been okay. No big dips or anything, but also no accelerations. I've asked to be monitored a little extra today just to keep an eye on them. I just can't believe that everyone thought I was going to deliver and yet no one told me. Little things like, you know, calling my husband could have been done had I known. Greg decided today that no matter what, as soon as he hears on back on IV fluids, he's coming to the hospital just in case.

At least all this stress will be over within the next 14 days. Then it gets replaced with NICU stress, followed by SIDS stress, followed by all the other stress of having kids. I asked my dad recently when you stop worrying about your kids and he said, "I'll let you know."

Take care,
Kris

Revolving door of nurses

Last night marked, I think, the 5th night in the row that I got a nurse I'd never met before. It's hard to believe that 5 weeks into this, that can still happen. Last night's nurse (not my favorite, by the way) waited until the ripe time of 9:00 to start my monitoring which, naturally, meant to girls acted up and I wasn't able to get off until midnight. Clara started out a bit sluggish, then Evelyn was stuck in a prolonged acceleration, then both girls had a deceleration at the same time. I'm guessing the decel was Clara grabbing Evelyn's cord and Evelyn retaliated by grabbing Clara's. Once they started to settled down, I started having a bunch of contractions (about 6 in 25 minutes) and they had to get me on some fluids to try to get them to stop. Much of the event was a blur to me because the nurse thought I was going to get off the monitor around 11:00 and gave me my Ambien. Everything from that point on happened in a bizarre dream-like state.

Anyway, having a new nurse is really frustrating because I have to re-explain everything - yes, that machine is broken, my vitamins are up there, no - use the barcodes on the outside of the bag, yes - it's normal for me to have an irritable uterus, etc. I'm happy to have Brenda today and David tonight. It's not my job to give an orientation to room 374 every night. Oh, and I also had the resident that I don't like last night. She came in after the prolonged acceleration to tell me everything was fine. While she was in the room, the girls had their decels. She said, "Well, you've just bought yourself more time." Then without saying another word she turned around, walked out, and left my door wide open. I never saw her again over the next two hours. And, come on, close my stupid door. I don't have a ton of freedom around here, at least respect my privacy. And she also got mad when I took myself off the monitor to go to the bathroom. Well, guess what, lady - I've got two babies inside and I'm supposed to be drinking 120-150 ounces of water. These facts mean that I have to go the bathroom....a lot.

Alright, all done complaining.

My new floating partner got her pool privileges taken away. Her cervical length got shorter and she's now on super-duper bed rest and isn't even really allowed to sit up in bed. I'm getting a new floater today though. One of the ruptured sac ladies who's been here about as long as me has been cleared to go to pool.

Take care,
K

Nevermind that whole 12/17 thing

I just talked to Dr. 34 weeks and I asked him what that chances are that a 32 weeker would have mature lungs. He said about 30-35%. Given this information, I decided to just cancel the amnio because I don't want the risks (infection, ruptures sac, etc) with such a low chance of delivery. So, cancelling of the amnio also means no c-section on 12/17. We're officially shooting for 33-34 weeks provided the heart rate tracings look like they have over the last 24 hours. Obviously, the babies have the final say and they can always decide to come whenever they want.

I asked Dr. 34 weeks to battle it out with Dr. 32 weeks. I'd like to stay out of it.

Take care,
Kris

12/17....ish

Remember when I mentioned that my two doctors disagree on 32 versus 34 weeks? Well, Dr. 32 weeks is the one who wanted to deliver me on Monday. Dr. 34 weeks was in Syria during this decision making. Now Dr. 32 weeks is out of town and Dr. 34 weeks is back. Unsurprisingly, this makes the certainty of a 12/17 delivery a little more tentative. What Dr. 34 weeks said he'd do is go ahead and schedule my c-section for Monday afternoon. He wants me to go in Monday morning for an amnio and he's reserving the right to cancel the c-section if he's not comfortable with the maturity of the babies. So....once again, I'm crying wolf. Lots of back of forth and today's the day - no it's not, just kidding. Ultimately, my goal is to keep Evelyn and Clara in as long as it's safe for them. Whether that means I deliver tomorrow or Monday or in two weeks is not important to me. My only other preference is to not have them born between 12/23 and 12/26 since they're going to have to share a birthday with each other for the rest of their lives, they should at least not have to also share their birthday with Jesus.

Take care,
Kris

How could I forget French Jackie?

I forgot all about French Jackie - the nurse from (wait for it.....) France. She looks 15 years younger than she is, pushes the wheelchair terribly and blames her Frenchness for it, drives a corvette, and has tons of fabulous jewelry. She is, clearly, awesome.

And while I'm at it there are assorted other personal:
- Bonnie the food delivery woman who wears jingle bells on her shoes.
- Kit the scrub tech who looks 15, but I'm told is quite fantastic at his job. He seems very sweet.
- Susie the surgical tech who gets more done in an hour that most people do in 6 weeks. She reminds me of a hummingbird constantly in motion.

Girls are doing okay. I've been on the monitor a lot today and I go back on in 10 minutes. I think my status has changed from high risk to uber-high risk so I get kept on when pretty much anything happens and since pretty much every session has a dip, I'm on a lot. I just got a text that Nicole thinks I'm in the OR, so I'm a little worried that these girls are coming out with the next session :)

Oh, and I had another contraction. I would be alarmed if it weren't so cool to feel it and then see it on the strips. And I mean, really, who cares about preterm labor at this point?

Take care,
Kris

Nurses

I keep forgetting to jot down my thoughts about all the nurses I've had - for myself mostly....this will mean basically nothing to anyone but me. I have to say that I love all these nurses :) They are all very good at their job - which can't be easy. Can you imagine spending all day with freaked out, hormonal, high-risk pregnant ladies?

David - My favorite nurse. He's worked on all 7 continents, has a very calming way about him, and his son is dating twins (a fact that David tries not to learn much about). He's got a ton of great stories. One nice thing is his willingness to just sit with me and try to keep the monitors on. It sounds simple, but very few of the nurses will take the time to do it and it makes all of us feel better. He's also been doing this a long time and has a knowledge base that can put things into perspective. Oh, and his hands are warm. Nothing worse that cold hands on your belly.

Charisse - Took a couple sessions to get used to, but now I absolutely love her. She's pretty conservative and will keep me on the monitor just to be cautious. She used to live in Waco (shout out to TX), raises 5 1/2 alpacas (yes..."and a half"), and is 6 foot 2. Oh and she always brings me grape popsicles while I'm on the monitor.

Brenda - Even though I haven't had her much (she and Charisse usually work on the same days) she's incredibly easy to get attached to. She's a good one to call when I'm freaked out as she knows how to frame things in a way that make me feel better.

Kathy - Poor Kathy just got saddled with braces. Her oldest son has lots of baby mamma drama and her younger son just had surgery on his butt. She's a good chatter and, thus, another favorite.

Vicki - Reminds me endlessly of Paula Dean. She's a grandma of twins.

Jennifer - Giggles a lot :)

Anita - Greg described her best as having a German work ethic. She's in, she's out. No messing around.

And there are endless more that I've had - Jennie, Jessica (looks like Jamie Pressley), Linda 1, Linda 2, Rachel, Annalea, the one that looks like Lily Taylor, and probably several more that I'm forgetting. Again, these folks have a tough, tough job and they all do it well.

Smashed your face

Not much to report. The babies are doing fine. Evelyn has been baselining a little lower than usual which means that her regular variability of +/- 20 bpm now puts her low end under 120. Folks here just kind of recognize that it's a shift in baseline and not actual variables. That being said, all my strips still need to be signed off on by a resident.

I've kind of grown fond of my new floating friend. I think she just took some warming up to. My other friend, Inbal, got to go home last week. I'm thrilled for her and I wish her and her baby the absolute best.

Mom's still on babysitting duty and doing a fabulous job. She's graciously agreed to stay until Sunday when Papa and Maggie come in town. Now that we're in the home stretch it's nice to know we've got grandparental coverage at the house. The Hightshoes have been fantastic about dropping everything to help us out, but we'd like to give them a little bit of a break.

Alex appears to be done with all this hospital stuff and has been acting up quite a bit. He took a gigantic swipe at me today and scratched up my forehead. He later retold the event to me like this, "I was crying. You were sitting there and I was sitting here. I smashed your face. You yelled at me. I got a time out and I cried that I wanted my daddy." Which was....accurate.

Take care,
Kris

Tick tock

As the late Jim R would say - here's the deal...the babies cooperated yesterday, but they should start packing for the big move to the NICU. My doctor came by to tell me that she informed the on-call doctor for this weekend (I'll get to who the doctor is in a second) not to tolerate any more downs. She told him if I had any decels over the weekend that the instruction is to deliver. For realsies this time. If I can hold these girls inside, my c-section will be scheduled for either Thursday (31w 6d - 12/13) or the following Monday (32w 3d - 12-17) because my main doctors would prefer to be the ones to deliver and my 32 week turnover happens to be on a Friday that neither of them are in town and I'm guessing scheduled c-sections don't happen on the weekend.

Now here's the funny (not ha-ha) part. The big, fancy, "best in Colorado", Mr. 5280 magazine, and you'll need months to wait before you can see him, MFM (maternal fetal medicine specialist, aka perinatologist) who originally diagnosed the girls would be the one delivering us if they misbehave this weekend. Greg and I really didn't like the guy and we went to great pains to get out of his practice and to come to a hospital that we *thought* he didn't work at. No such luck....apparently, the MFMs all cover for each other. When I expressed my dislike of the guy, my doctor told me to be stern with the babies and tell them to wait until Monday at least. It would just give this cocky doctor the pleasure of diagnosing and delivering another set of momo twins as though we had been his patients all along. I know it's ridiculous to care at this point and, obviously, if it happens the last thing I'll be thinking about is me not liking him. But it would be an interesting little twist in this whole story.

So, expect Greg and me to be parents of 3 no later than 12/17. It's crazy! Neither one of us have really prepared ourselves. Although my experience with one baby is that you can't prepare yourself anyway. You just have to live it.

I hope these girls stay in until them, bu I gotta say, I'm really tired of hospital life. I miss my old life and simple things like sleeping in my bed, driving, waking Alex up in the morning, and walking into the kitchen to get a glass of juice. I miss working. I miss the smell of my closet. I miss snuggling with the dog. I think I did a reasonably good job adapting to this place, but I really want to go home (again, not to jinx anything - I don't want to go home so badly that I have babies today. Let me be clear on that point to the Gods or whoever is listening to my inner thoughts).

Take care,
Kris

IV-BACK-ON

Well, we had another scare. This one we'll call C-Section Scare III - this time it's personal. It was bigger, louder, and more blockbuster-y than Monday's. I'm back on the IV and I got oxygen, 3 nurses, a doctor, and a sonographer this time. Mom was here and managed to effortlessly get Alex out of the room with the promise of ice cream. The on call doctor (I'm not kidding - Dr. Gray who, in addition to Dr. Becker, makes me feel like I'm living in a TV show) watched the ultrasound to look for movement, breathing, heart beats, and blood flow. Long story short, I'm off the monitor for now, but will go back on in a couple hours. I did much better this time - no meltdowns, no crying. I was much more concerned about their heart rates than I was about delivering teeny babies. Good news is that they recovered and tomorrow I'll be 31 weeks.

We timed Greg and it takes him 44 minutes door to door to get here from work.

That's it for tonight. The IV makes it hurt to type.

Take care,
Kris

IV-BE-GONE

Yesterday was a good day. The girls did well enough to get me off the IV - I was being such a baby about that IV. I was whining every second and I think they took it out just to shut me up.

Anyway, they still had some variables, but nothing like what we were seeing on Monday. I had a long talk with my doctor who, like me, thought Monday was going to be the day. We're all very excited that the babies turned around enough to keep them in for at least another day. Each day on in the inside saves us 3 days in the NICU. Doc did say that any more days like Monday and the babies come out. No more dorking around. If they cooperate, they will come out mid-month when I hit 32 weeks.

Lexie (floater friend) came by to visit after her doctor's office. It was great to see her- especially to see her looking like a "real person" with her hair done and carrying a purse. Her fluid is up even more and I'm super excited for her even though I know she's ready to meet Mr. Andy. I'm very anxious to meet him as well. I want to see how long he is....I'm guessing 24 inches (Sorry, Lexie)

Also, thanks to everyone who has been so kind and supportive. I have big plans to stop being so self-centered and "woe is me" when all this is over. I really do appreciate everything that everyone has been doing for us - visiting, bringing treats, taking care of Alex or Ripley, and all the prayers and good vibes. It means a lot to both Greg and me.

Take care,
Kris

IVs are itchy

We had some more problems last night with decels. They started me on an IV to try to boost the heart rates and to go ahead and get it in to save 5 minutes or so in the event of an emergency. I'm guessing that with all the extra monitoring, they'll catch something negative and operate.

In the meantime, I'm pretty much bound to my bed. I'll try to update as much as possible, but I think the frequency of these posts are going to decrease.

Take care,
Kris

p.s. my nurse was very funny last night. He was holding my hand to try to comfort me and the I realized he was stroking my veins in preparation for the IV. When I called him on it he said, "Hey, I'm multitasking." :)

I've been benched

Baby girls are both having too many variables and quick decels (likely cord compression accidents) to keep me on my current monitoring plan of 3 times a day for 30-60 minutes. I've been increased to 4 times a day for 1-2 hours each time. 1 hour if things look good, 2 hours if not so good. This means I'll monitor at 8:00, 12:00, 4:00, and 8:00 leaving me with time to float, eat, and visit with Greg and Alex.

-Kris

Did you know momo twins get tangled?

Clara's having a ton of variables today so I'm marathon monitoring. I thought I'd post really quickly before they put me back on in a half hour.

The girls won't stop moving around and they keep needing ultrasounds to find them. I wish they'd settled down and stop scooting around so much. Every time they move, I'm picturing a new knot or tangle.

The nurse practitioner came in today and made me feel worse. She kept saying how tangled and knotted all momo twins end up and I wouldn't believe what they look like and how she's so shocked every time. So I feel super anxious today. She also kept talking about emergency c-sections and how all the nurses need to be watching my heart rate strips really carefully in case today is the last day and we call it "quits" and operate. You know - I know all this stuff. It's why I'm living here. I'm perfectly aware of my high risk nature. Hearing it spoken so directly to me just makes me feel worse.

Take care,
Kris

Edited to add...Of all the posts I've done, this is the only one I regret. As I read it again, 6 months later, I cringe. The reality is that I loved my NP. She was absolutely fantastic and provided a ton of emotional support. I also happened to be the kind of patient who really wanted things told to me as they were - no sugarcoating. She just caught me on a bad day (not hard to do during the inpatient portion of this journey). Kris

Can't make this stuff up

So, security was roaming around today because some woman reported her vibrator lost or stolen. The poor nurses had to search the rooms trying to find it. Seriously?? The whole thing is bizarre.

They didn't find it.

30 weeks!

Not much to report over the last few days. I made it to 30 weeks and the girls have been doing well. They both had long periods with really high heart rates. Again, normal is 120-160. We want them to have accelerations that go up 15 beats per minute for short periods of time. This shows that they are learning how to regulate themselves (or something - I can't remember everything they tell me). Evelyn got stuck up in the 180s-190s for about 10 minutes and Clara (stinker that she is) ranged from 175-195 for 30 minutes, getting as high as 202 for awhile. The medical folks around here aren't too concerned. They said they're really only looking for decelerations. Their lack of concern wasn't really expressed to me until after they're heart rates returned to normal so I was freaking out and trying to talk them down. Neither Clara nor Evelyn seem to listen to me very well. It's good to see that they're already acting like their brother.

In non-baby news, the hospital stay is taking a toll on my body. Even though I'm not on bedrest there is nowhere really to go and I can feel myself getting weaker everyday. There's also something that happens with all the recirculated air. It feels a little like I've been living on an airplane for 3 1/2 weeks. You can't help but get the nappies and feel kind of sick all the time. Normally, I'd go complain to my floating friend, but she up and left me in favor of home bedrest so I can't park myself in her room and complain.

We got a new floater the other day and she's, how do I say this nicely.... kind of annoying. It seems dumb, but when floating is the highlight of your day and someone whose personality doesn't match up with your own invades that time, you get a little cranky.

But, all in all, if I can even complain about these minor things, it means that everything is going well.

Take care,
K

NICU information

A neonatologist finally came to see me today to talk about what to expect in the NICU. She spoke mostly in terms of, "Well, once they get to be 32 weeks..." The NICU folks seem to have two major milestones - 28 and 32 weeks.

Once the babies get into the NICU, they'll get started on IV fluids and put in a warmer. How things go from there depend on how healthy they are. At a basic level, we probably won't be able to hold them much until they are more stable. We can be with them and hopefully hold them every three hours during care sessions (diaper changes, feedings, etc). The longer they stay in me the more likely we'll be able to hold them and bottle/breast feed sooner. Also, if they come out healthy-ish, we can start "Kangaroo Care" or skin on skin contact. If we can't hold them right away, we should be ale to hold their hands or stroke their faces (this is where you can cue my tears). The length of their stay obviously depends on how far along they are and how healthy they are. She said that babies born at 32 weeks are typically in there until 36 or 37 weeks. Babies born earlier usually have to stay until they would have been considered term babies. The girls will be allowed to co-sleep with each other once they are off some of their tubes. Speaking of tubes....

Here's what we can expect in terms of equipment and monitoring:
1) A cardio-respiratory monitor to measure heart rate, temperature, blood pressure, and breathing.
2) A chest tube to keep air from getting inside the chest. If air gets inside the chest, it makes it harder for the lungs to expand and breathe.
3) An endotracheal tube (ETT) that goes from the mouth or nose, past the vocal cords, and into the trachea. This is called intubating and it assists breathing. The kind of sad thing is that because it interferes with the vocal cords, we won't be able to hear any crying (again, you can cue my own tears at this point).
4) Feeding tubes. Preemies get fed by "gavage" or a method where a small tube is inserted into the nose or mouth and goes down into the esophagus and stomach.
5) An incubator to help the babies maintain their body temperature.
6) A ventilator to provide breaths of certain sizes at certain rates.
7) Catheters to allow them to take blood and give IV fluids.

We can expect a lot of neonatal tests including, but not limited to:
1) Blood tests for all sorts of things like infections, effectiveness of breathing, and other blood components.
2) Ultrasounds to look at brain hemorrhaging. She said babies born at 32 weeks usually don't get this. However, with mono/mono twins they'll probably do it no matter what because they're at an increased risk for passing blood clots to each other.
3) Depending on how old they are when they come out, a retinal eye exam.

Some of the problems they may have in the NICU include:
1) Anemia
2) Apnea (stops in breathing). She said that at this hospital, they don't really discharge babies with an apnea monitor for the home. Instead, they wait to discharge until the babies can go at least 5 days without an apnea episode. Apnea can occur with pretty steep heart rate drops. Almost everyone I've talked to with a preemie has had to learn how to tap on their babies to get them to breathe again.
3) Gastroesophageal reflux (GER) where the babies will spit or vomit up food.
4) Intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH) or bleeding on the brain.
5) Respiratory distress syndrome when the baby's lungs aren't fully mature.
6) Retinopathy which is an eye disease. I'm not sure, but I think this is mostly fixable with laser surgery.

And lots more - too many to list. In terms of lifelong disability, once we get to 32 weeks we'd be looking at learning disabilities, ADHD, etc. She said the earlier they're born and/or the sicker they are in the NICU, the greater the chances of these problems. The good news, I'm past 28 weeks so some of the really, really scary stuff is hopefully past. If they're born before 32 weeks they'd get an evaluation from a Part C agency (for those not in the "biz" Part C is the early intervention program. All of Alex's therapies came out of Part C).

I also asked (just because how the heck would I know) if the babies wear clothes in the NICU. She said not for awhile.

I think that's it.

Take care,
Kris

Ultrasound

I saw my other doctor today for an ultrasound looking at growth and cord notching (indicative, according to one article, of cord knotting). My two doctors seem to have different philosophies about this whole mono/mono thing. Today's doctor talked about going to 35 or 36 weeks. So, who knows?

Okay, here the scoop....Evelyn's weighing in at 2.9 lbs. Clara's a little smaller than I had hoped at 2.3 lbs. This means Clara only gained .05-.1 lbs in 2 weeks. My doctor seemed unconcerned. I, of course, will be kept up all night :) They also checked the blood flow in the cords and all looked well there. They also didn't see any notching in the cords. Oh...and my cervix is still long.

This doctor also talked about doing an amnio. My two doctors seem to disagree on two main points -1) when to deliver and 2) whether or not I should have an amnio to help determine lung maturity and, therefore, delivery date. I want to agree with today's doctor about the later deliver and the other doctor about not having an amnio. Basically, I want the best of both worlds. An amnio just seems a little dangerous with two babies in there. I'm worried about hitting one of them. I guess we'll see as we get closer.

In other exciting news one of my floater friends gets to go home tonight and the other will likely go home tomorrow. I'm excited for both of them even though I selfishly will miss the company.

Moustaches

Not much to post today. The girls have been behaving. My doctor stopped by earlier today to talk about doing an ultrasound tomorrow or Tuesday. We'll take a look at the cords and the blood flow in them. If I can make it to 31 weeks, this ultrasound will help decide when we schedule a c-section. It's looking more like 32 weeks instead of 34 weeks given the decels Evelyn's been having. We also talked about the contractions I've been having. She's not concerned at all since my cervix is so long. She said that since it's so long, tomorrow's ultrasound would also be the last time they measure my cervix. Cervical length is not my issue these days.

Papa came in yesterday and it's been nice having him here. Alex is obsessed with his moustache since he now knows two people with moustaches - Papa and Mr. Potato Head. I'm hoping Papa will get to go to the ultrasound with me so he can see the babies and the cords.

Other than that, not much to report. We're just watching the girls and hoping their heart rates stay within the normal range. 5 more days until I'm 30 weeks. The survival rate at 30 weeks is pretty high, as is the handicap-free rate. It's amazing to me that I'm actually hoping for 30 weeks. My pregnancy with Alex was so carefree and I really took for granted his health. I just assumed everything would go well. This whole experience has shown me how fragile this and other situations can be. A friend who went through something similar about a year and a half ago said something very true - that most women don't experience the dark side of pregnancy. I hope that all those I know who are trying to get pregnant or who are pregnant continue to not experience it.

On a cheerier note, Lexie told me that if I keep clicking up on my remote past the radio stations there are more channels. I'm happy to report I've caught up on Project Runway.

Take care,
Kris

Bunk beds

My afternoon monitoring session was incomplete because the girls are laying on top of each other like bunk beds. This is making it basically impossible to detect the lower one's heart rate underneath the upper one. The resident did an ultrasound instead to make sure babies hearts looked good. She also checked to make sure they're moving (believe me.....they're moving) and that they are taking practice breaths. She said she was much more reassured by the practice breathing than by anything from the monitor. It's funny (well, not ha-ha funny...) because as the days go on and I learn more, I have less and less faith in the NSTs (non-stress tests, aka monitoring sessions). Basically, no one really knows what it means if the heart rates drop. The use of the monitors has done nothing over the last 30 years except increase the rates of c-sections. I also found out that plenty of c-sections have been done because of drops in heart rates that ended up being unnecessary. But, they do the monitoring because it's all we have. It's just, apparently, a pretty inexact science.

I signed my consent form today for a c-section and added on to it to do a tubal ligation while everything was open. No more babies for me after this is all over.

I hope my last session goes well tonight - although, again, who really knows what that means. If I had requested last night's session 10 minutes later we wouldn't have caught the first decel and I would have been off in an hour and, therefore, we wouldn't have caught the second decel. It's all a matter of timing. What looks good one minute could have been scary 5 minutes earlier. The only way around this is to do 24/7 monitoring. Given the inconclusive nature of the monitoring and the mental anguish that goes with the monitoring, I'm glad 24/7 was not my doctor's recommendation. Believe me...anyone who thinks being at the hospital is a nice break and relaxing is mistaken. Waking up each day fearful of an emergency c-section of premature twins is never relaxing. The monitoring sessions are scary. The variables are scary. The decels are terrifying.

Do I sound tragic enough yet? Whatever - it's my blog and I can be as tragic as I want to. :)

Take care,
Kris

More worry

Last night was another trying night. Evelyn had two more decelerations (she got down to the 80s during the first one and the 70s during the second). I got put on continuous monitoring from 8:30 last night until 7:30 this morning. We called the Hightshoes around 11:00 and had them stay the rest of the night with Alex so Greg could come to the hospital. They gave me an Ambien to try to help me sleep a little bit. It worked a little, but because I was stuck in the same position all night, I didn't sleep well. I was also having some contractions because my bladder kept filling up - apparently your bladder can irritate your uterus into having a contraction. The good news is that she's recovering well from her decelerations which, hopefully, means she's not causing herself permanent damage. My doctor didn't seem to think the heart rate issues were because of cord accidents. So, something else is going on. She said a cord accident would look more like a spike in the heart rate and not a gradual decline, plateau, and gradual incline.

I went back on around 10:00 this morning and everything looked fine. I'll go back on later today. For now, we're just watching them. Our doctor is "worried" but not rushing me off to the OR quite yet. If Evelyn keeps having issues a very premature delivery is likely. I'm 29 weeks today and I'm guessing I'll be pretty lucky to make it to 30 weeks.

So....all this information is mostly to let people know what's happening so I don't have to keep repeating the story on the phone or in person. I'm pretty tired and freaked out, so I'm closing up shop for most visitors and phone calls for a few days. I'll let people know if/when I'm for it again. If you really want an update, please call Greg on his cell.

Take care,
Kris

All is well

Babies have been monitoring fine since Monday. A few variables, but otherwise fine. I've got a little bit of a cold which seems to be making me kind of lethargic and prone to naps. I'll update more tomorrow.

Take care and have a happy Thanksgiving!
Kris

More decels

Each day keeps getting worse and worse. I'm hoping today is a turnaround day. Yesterday, Evelyn had another deceleration- this one longer, lower, and worse than the one on Saturday. So, their heart rates are supposed to be between 120 and 160. On Saturday she dipped to 100 or 105, but came promptly back up. Yesterday she dropped to the 80s, stayed there for almost a minute, and then took several more minutes to recover. A little while later, her heart rate jumped to the 180-190 range and stayed there for about 10 minutes. During that 10 minutes she continued to have variables meaning she'd drop way down, then go way back up, drop way down again, and go way back up again. It was torture just waiting for her to regulate herself. It all started around 3:00 yesterday when I went out to the nurse's station because I couldn't feel Evelyn moving. I ended up monitoring until 8:00 because every time she'd act up, I'd get assigned two more hours. Towards the end of the session, Clara then decided to hide from the monitor which bought me the 5th hour trying to get her on continuously.

I'm hoping today goes better and that the girls are doing well. Everything is really out of my control, but it's still really difficult to deal with all the heart rate issues.

Take care,
Kris

Example of momo cord

I know this is kind of gross, but I wanted folks to see what we're up against. This is a photo of someone's momo cords. Crazy, eh? It is hard to believe the babies were born okay. By the way, you better believe I'm getting a picture of my cords. I need to know what they look like.

Photos

My floating friends Inbal and Lexie. We look hot. Check out our noodles. We have a system - Inbal gets the pink ones because she's having a girl. Lexie gets blue because she's having a boy. I get green because twins, although girls, will be raised gender neutral :) We also have jobs - I get the noodles and Inbal puts them away. Hey...it's the little things that make us feel better.

Alex and Ava watching a movie on the hospital pullout couch.

Me - trying to look as pitiful as possible with my leg things on and my monitoring belt.

My couch and window

My bathroom

My bed

Leave them in

The last two days have been really difficult. The girls are doing fine. Not great, but fine. After my decelerations on Saturday and the 2-hour sessions went okay, they bumped me down to 1-hour sessions. Last night Evelyn had a few more variables and then she completely moved and they lost the heart rate. They had to bring in the ultrasound to find her and she's okay - they only lost her because she changed positions but, man, it's a lot to handle emotionally. My doctor came in today, looked at the strips, and said he was "unimpressed" but what, last night, they were worried about. He joked a little that obstetrics is an easy specialty because you only have to answer two questions. The first is, "Do we leave the babies in or take them out?" The second in, "Will we take them out vaginally or by c-section?" Question 2 is already decided for me, so we're just trying to answer Question 1 everyday. Today's answer is "leave them in." The medical staff try to make me feel better and assure me that all these little dips are appropriate given their age and their mono/mono status. It does absolutely nothing to reassure me. Every minute I'm on the monitor I'm terrified and every minute I'm off the monitor I'm anxious to get back on. I just want them to stay put for at least 11 more days until I can reach 30 weeks. Everyone keeps saying, "This is why you're here," but I'd rather be here for 8 weeks and have nothing go wrong at all :) Unrealistic? Yes, but still, I'm in denial.

Anyway, this morning's monitoring went well I guess. The nurse didn't say anything, but they looked fine to Mandy and me. Only one small dip at the beginning. They'll keep monitoring me more intensely until, I guess, I'm either in the clear or I need to increase the monitoring even more. Ech...it's too much to think about.

Take care,

Kris

Decelerations

Today's been a tough one. The on-call doctor stopped by to tell me that Evelyn had a few decelerations during my morning monitoring session. A deceleration is a drop in heart rate for a few minutes - not necessarily an emergency, but definitely worth watching me more closely. So, I got assigned two 2-hour sessions to watch them more carefully. I had my first 2-hour monitoring session mid-day and there were a few variables (dips in heart rate for a few seconds), but no more decelerations. The resident felt the variables were appropriate for their gestational age. I'll go back on around 7:00 tonight for another long session. I'm hoping they still look fine.

I also got orders to wear these ridiculous things around my legs to try to prevent blood clots in my legs from being immobile for so long. For some reason, I'm on these, but my friends here who are actually on bedrest are not. I'm going to ask my doctor about them on Monday. I don't think I'd mind having them on at night and while I'm monitoring, but I'd rather not wear them throughout the day because they tether me to the bed and make me feel like a true hospital patient.

In other news, Mandy and Ava are out visiting which is lovely. We were hoping to give Greg a bit of a break today. However, I got a little freaked out by the extra monitoring and called him to the hospital. We're going to try to have a slumber party tonight with Ava, Alex, Mandy and me and let Greg have the night to himself.

The kids seem to be having a nice visit with each other. Ava talks at Alex and Alex just stares at her. So, you know, typical for them :)

I guess that's it.

Take care,
Kris

Evelyn photos

Picture 1: Evelyn's face. She, like Alex, looks like she's starting with a wide nose :)

Picture 2: Most of Evelyn's face. This one's my favorite because you can see her little hands in front of her face. She's clasping her fingers like she's praying.

Picture 3: Evelyn's profile.

3-D

Today has been a very exciting day for me - exciting good, not exciting bad. After my floating session in the pool I got a massage from a massage therapy student trying to get some internship hours. Then I got wheeled over to my doctor's office to check my cervical length and do fetal growth measurements. First thing's first...my cervix is still "extraordinarily" long. The fetal growth measurements looked good. I'm 27W 5 D today and Evelyn is measuring 28W 1 D, Clara is measuring 27W 0D. So, they're different, but not so different that anyone is worried. The weight estimates are 2.5 lbs and 2.25 lbs. The best part (after that good news) was that they did some 3-D ultrasound pictures. Clara was uncooperative and wouldn't move her hand away from her face so we only got pictures of Evelyn. But, you know, they're identical so it's basically like seeing them both :) I'm going to have Greg scan the photos in and I'll try to figure out how to post them soon. Everything else also still looks good. My doctor said, "Things are going as well as we can hope." The best indicator is still the heart rate monitoring. Cross your fingers and hope it continues to go well.

Take care,
K

Variables

Things are settling into a routine around here. Get up, take shower, eat breakfast, get monitored, work, float, eat lunch, work, get monitored, mill around, eat dinner, visit with family, get monitored, go to bed. And that's pretty much it. The floating time has become my second favorite activity (after visitors) because it's nice to check in with my two floater friends. I get a little freaked out everyday though...hoping they're both still here and doing well. One has low amniotic fluid and something called a unicorn uterus (seriously...look it up...it's crazy). The other has low fluid, IUGR, and placenta previa. We're all likely going to be here until the end of the year - assuming all goes well. Today we spent a large amount of time talking about how tired we are of the food here. I wish I could have some food requests from visitors - I still just have so many aversions. I've even tried employing Amy's technique of smacking my lips together to try to figure out what I'm "tasting" to no avail. Actually, that's not totally true...I know some foods I'd love to have - I'd love some brie, wine, beer, deli meat, etc. All sorts of things that I can't have. I actually dreamt about beer last night. How sad is that?

Anyway, on to my Evelyn and Clara update. They're doing well. Clara had what they call "variables" during her afternoon and evening monitoring sessions. Basically, it means that her heart rate dipped for a few seconds. They keep assuring me this is okay and normal and everything, but it's really difficult to get optimistic seeing the printouts with the dips in them. I guess as long as these variable blips stay short or whatever, things are okay. It likely means her cord is getting compressed for short periods of time. No one but me seems to be concerned so I'll try to move past it.

Both girls seem to have settled into their places. This makes the monitoring sessions much shorter for me because the nurses know where to put the discs and we don't spend an hour trying to find the heart rates. If my belly were a clock, Evelyn is hanging out pretty low at 6:00 and Clara is at about 10:00. I'm happy they've settled in, although it doesn't seem to be preventing them from testing out their limbs. They are in a constant game of oneupsmanship - who can beat on Mommy the most :) Whatever, I'll take it. Active babies are healthy babies.

I'm supposed to get wheeled over to my doctor's office tomorrow or Thursday to check on my cervical length and do fetal growth measurements. I'm anxious to see how big they are.

I think that's about it for an update. Oh, one more thing, did you know that King of Queens is on TV approximately 65 times a day??? Carrie and Doug are my new best friends.

Take care,
K

Visiting

Now that I'm settled, I'm open for visitors. My only real request is that weekdays from 6-7:45 PM are visitor free so I can spend that time with Greg and Alex. Otherwise, just call me first in case I'm in the pool. There's also a very good chance that visiting will happen while I'm being monitored. This is okay with me, but I wanted to prepare folks because I have no say in when they monitor and the "schedule" they keep talking about is so far nonexistent.

Anyway, stop on by. I'm in room 374.

On to other news...Greg got to try his hand at being in charge of my monitoring today and we got the best strips so far with 40 minutes of both girls staying on continuously . They told us Greg was hired. The nurse also told us that both girls are having accelerations in their heart rates which, at 27 weeks, is a good sign that they are both doing well.

No other big news. My big excitement yesterday was getting a remote control that worked. Who-hoo!! My life is pretty small these days :)

Take care,
K

Multiple humor

“Are they developmentally behind?” (Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.)

“Are they natural?” (Nope, their arms and legs are made of silicone.)

“Did you take drugs?” (Well, there was this one time in college...)

“Are they ‘paternal’ twins?” (Yes. They have a father.)

“Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.” (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)

“When one cries, does he wake the others?” (No. Multiples cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)

"I'll be right back"

Did you know that "I'll be right back" is a relative term? Apparently, in the hospital setting, it's relative to the amount of time in a decade. So far, it's meant anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours later. This little phrase is especially frustrating when I'm all hooked up for monitoring, have to pee (because, well, I've two babies inside), and my out of reach lunch has been delivered and is getting colder by the second. "I'll be right back" is noticeably longer when paired with, "...with the ultrasound machine." This usually guarantees an hour wait. Why they keep me hooked up monitoring nothing in the interim is beyond me. Can you tell yesterday was frustrating? :) I was especially happy to be hooked up for 2 1/2 hours while my nurse took her lunch break. Something happens at the 2 hour mark...I just start to go absolutely crazy.

Alex and Greg stayed the night last night which was wonderful. I was woken up by a 3 year old sneezing next to my bed followed by, "I want to lay down with Mommy." Just knowing they were so close by made me happy.

That's it for yesterday. No big news. The girls are still looking good.

Take care,
K

Floaters

I'm settling in now. I got my Perinatal room and it's amazing what my own bedspread has done for my mental health. The room is a little dumpy. It's not nearly as nice as Labor and Delivery or one of the fancy new hospitals in town, but does it really matter? It's still a hospital room and it's more important to me that I'm close to Alex than it is that I have a nice room.

Day 2 was much the same as day 1 only I got to go to the pool - an interesting and somewhat BBC The Office awkward experience. Marcel the PT and Eric the PT student intern (who looks about 17 years old - is that really how young we all looked in college??) wheeled me down to the pool. Luckily, I had the foresight to bring a bathing suit because the hospital ones are hilariously prepackaged like astronaut food. Anyway, I get wheeled down in my suit and robe. I got in the pool (a lovely 98 degrees - shout out to Nick Lachey) and proceeded to float for 30 minutes with a noodle. This is my therapy. And poor Marcel and Eric had to sit and watch me, but since there's no actual hands-on therapy, they just pulled two chairs up to the pool, watched me float, and shared an Oprah magazine. I felt compelled to chat with them because, well, what else am I going to do while floating? I found out the therapists call the pregnant ladies "floaters" because of our outstanding hydro-aerobic routines. I also learned lots of little tidbits about Marcel and Eric. So I get to do this everyday. I did feel good though to just float in warm water and feel weightless.

My doctor came in a chit-chatted a bit this morning. We're going to try to clear up how far I walk. The nurses didn't want me leaving the hallway yesterday, but my doctor wants me to be able to go downstairs and get some fresh air. So, we shall see.

I added a link to Greg's blog about this whole experience. He's running around all day and has no time. I'm laying around all day and have nothing but time.

Today is my 27th week milestone. Every day is a little celebration, but every Friday is a victory.

So that's it. I'm sending out good vibes to my three pregnant friends right now. I hope everything is going well with your little peanuts.

Take care,
K

Move-in day

Hi everyone!

I moved into Rose Medical Center yesterday after a little shuffling around. The nurse at my doctor's office didn't quite get the paperwork sent in so the hospital was unaware I was coming. When I admitted, the Perinatal unit was full and I got placed temporarily into Labor and Delivery - a situation that I'm hoping is very temporary because I can't unpack and get settled until I'm in my actual room.

So far the hospital stay has been about what I thought it would be. After I got admitted, they came in to check my vitals (all clear) and start fetal monitoring. The monitoring is taking a long time because the girls are still kind of little and mobile and not cooperating with needing to stay in place for 20-30 minutes at a time. They also tend to have heart rates that are close to each other, so it's hard to distinguish them on the monitors. The going wisdom is that as they get larger and can't move around as much, it should be easier to know where to place the monitors. In the meantime, it's a big celebration when we get them both on and they stop wiggling. The whole process makes me anxious because I want so much for them to monitor well and stay inside me for 7 more weeks.

I also had some blood drawn. I'll get this done every 3 days to keep the lab updated. I get to wear an awesome, gigantic (and not at all irritating) plastic blue bracelet that lets people know about my blood needs in case I end up needing blood. They can scan the bracelet and it tells the bank downstairs what I'd need in an emergency.

I started my steroid treatment yesterday as well. I'll have one more shot today and then not again until 30+ weeks. The steroids let the babies know that they need to hurry up and start developing strong lungs (lungs are the last major thing to develop in babies and, because of this, premature babies often have lung problems). Can I just say - not to whine too much - that the steroid shot hurt...kind of a lot. Apparently, thick liquids hurt to inject. For fun, after the immediate pain, it turns into a dull pain for about an hour. I'll be happy after today's stick to get it over with.

I met 3 nurses (Linda, Donita, and Jennifer), 1 resident (Kelly), saw my doctor while he was on rounds, and my regular OB (pre-momo twin diagnosis) stopped in yesterday to say "hi." The part I'm adjusting to (and it just happened as I was typing that last sentence) is random people popping their head in and then leaving without saying anything. It just really makes me feel like what it is - I'm living in someone's place of work. I'm basically living in a storage room and they need to find stuff :) I'm sitting next to a big storage cart that includes such fun items as "amnio hooks" "emesis basins" and "placenta buckets." Lovely!

Today I'll start my pool therapy. I think it basically means I float in the pool. I should also get a better sense of my schedule today.

I was happy to see Greg and Alex last night and Alex jumped right on my bed and started playing around. I'm hoping this is a good indication for his adjustment. He's funny, you know, he does well with huge transitions like switching classrooms, moving to a bed, getting rid of the pacifier (and hopefully Mommy living in the hospital), but God forbid we try to get him to change shoes....then he melts down.

Mentally I'm doing okay. I've got freedom to roam around and I'll probably take them up on that offer today to get out of my room and get refreshed. I managed to squeeze out 7 hours of sleep last night which I thought was good considering it was Ambien-free and my first night here. The crappy part is that I have to leave my lights on a little so they can check on me (just to check, they don't actually wake me or do anything to me) through the night. I may start breaking that rule and turning off my lights :) Having them on dimmer makes a hissing noise that is, after 4 hours, like a stick in the eye.

I think I'll feel better once I'm in my room and have a schedule down. Living in a hospital is not good for planners like me.

Everyone has been nice and respectful. I was especially glad to see them stop the fetal monitoring when Greg and Alex got here last night. They seem to be pretty good about understanding that just because I'm here doesn't mean I don't have a life.

So - that's all. I'm going to go all Swedish on you all and keep my emotions bottled up :) Just kidding, I'm doing fine. A few tears yesterday, but mostly fine. And today's there's a Law and Order Criminal Intent marathon on to keep me busy.

Oh also, my cell is the best way to reach me. The landlines have to go through the nurses station.

And send big love to Greg who is now saddled with being an errand boy and single dad. He's handling it like a champ.

Take care everyone,
K