Bringing Home Baby

I kept hearing about an episode of Bringing Home Baby that followed momo twins. Yesterday I finally saw it - or at least the last 20 minutes or so. Because I missed the very beginning I didn't hear any of the details about her perinatal hospitalization or gestational age at birth. The girls were in the NICU for about 4 weeks so I'm assuming they came out via scheduled c-section around 33 or 34 weeks. One had to come home on some monitors, but no oxygen or anything. About 1/4 of the episode was spent on how the dogs were handling the babies which was a very interesting given all they'd been through to spend so much time talking about the dogs - rookie parent concern :). Whatever. Anyway, the part when I finally called Greg outraged was when the dad said that 2 months later you could really see the size difference between the girls. One was 10 lbs and one was 9 1/2 lbs. I actually yelled at the screen, "Are you kidding me???" Greg told me to turn off the TV.

He's given similar advice when it comes to the momo support website and forums ("Turn off the computer"). Here's how it breaks down - somewhere between 20 and 50% of momo twins die prior to viability. Of those who survive, most (about 75%) are born by a scheduled c-section after 33 weeks and most have little or no lasting health issues. I'm happy for these folks but it drives me crazy to hear about them because it's not my experience. The forums are the worst - especially when these moms (or, even worse, the moms who were misdiagnosed as momo...those ladies need to get off my support website) throw out advice to newly diagnosed women. It's fine to be so optimistic, but to ignore the very real risks associated with prematurity is dangerous business. Yes, many of the kids are fine, but some (like mine) have to fight a little harder. And I know that my situation could be a lot worse. To make it all sound so peachy and like the perinatal hospitalization is the worst of it is unfair to families like mine. Please....that hospitalization was the easy part. The hard part was the NICU, the brain ultrasounds, the respirators, the oxygen, the MRIs, the medicine, the therapy, the eye exams (think Clockwork Orange), the rehospitalizations, etc.

I think also people want to hurry up and get to our happy ending. I think that's why we get lots of comments like, "Oh it sounds like everything is going well." I think people (myself included) are tired of all this. Believe me, I wish more than anyone that I could say, "Yes, everything is going very well. The girls are really catching up and thriving." I cannot wait for that day. Unfortunately I think it'll be awhile.

Sorry, some days I still feel kind of sorry for myself.

Take care,
Kris