My afternoon monitoring session was incomplete because the girls are laying on top of each other like bunk beds. This is making it basically impossible to detect the lower one's heart rate underneath the upper one. The resident did an ultrasound instead to make sure babies hearts looked good. She also checked to make sure they're moving (believe me.....they're moving) and that they are taking practice breaths. She said she was much more reassured by the practice breathing than by anything from the monitor. It's funny (well, not ha-ha funny...) because as the days go on and I learn more, I have less and less faith in the NSTs (non-stress tests, aka monitoring sessions). Basically, no one really knows what it means if the heart rates drop. The use of the monitors has done nothing over the last 30 years except increase the rates of c-sections. I also found out that plenty of c-sections have been done because of drops in heart rates that ended up being unnecessary. But, they do the monitoring because it's all we have. It's just, apparently, a pretty inexact science.
I signed my consent form today for a c-section and added on to it to do a tubal ligation while everything was open. No more babies for me after this is all over.
I hope my last session goes well tonight - although, again, who really knows what that means. If I had requested last night's session 10 minutes later we wouldn't have caught the first decel and I would have been off in an hour and, therefore, we wouldn't have caught the second decel. It's all a matter of timing. What looks good one minute could have been scary 5 minutes earlier. The only way around this is to do 24/7 monitoring. Given the inconclusive nature of the monitoring and the mental anguish that goes with the monitoring, I'm glad 24/7 was not my doctor's recommendation. Believe me...anyone who thinks being at the hospital is a nice break and relaxing is mistaken. Waking up each day fearful of an emergency c-section of premature twins is never relaxing. The monitoring sessions are scary. The variables are scary. The decels are terrifying.
Do I sound tragic enough yet? Whatever - it's my blog and I can be as tragic as I want to. :)
Take care,
Kris
About Me
- Kristina
- I'm the mother of 3 kids - Alexander, Evelyn, and Clara. In August 2007, my pregnancy was diagnosed as monoamniotic/monochorionic ("momo") meaning that my girls shared an amniotic sac putting them at high risk for fetal mortality and absolute risk for prematurity. This blog is an account of my perinatal hospitalization and NICU and neonatal experiences. I'm not always happy and cheerful, but I do always try to be honest about my feelings during this little adventure.
4 comments:
I am crossing my fingers that you and the girls stay healthy and happy through this process.
I haven't any idea how difficult it is for you but from what I can tell you are doing an amazing job hanging in there.
And you have every right to be as tragic as you want.
Since you are putting the kibosh on visitors right now, can you receive packages? Like mail and presents?
Thinking of you. Sending lots of love and happy, healthy baby thoughts.
Sounds very terrifying, K. Can't imagine at all what you are going through either but know I can't stop thinking about you.
Here here, Sister! I'm thinking about you always - even 3 doors away! Have a good afternoon...
Lexie and AJ
Yikes...fine time for them to tell you now that all the HOURS of monitoring they have been putting you through mean basically nothing. Jeez...At least you got to see pics of the girls, hopefully that helped to ease your mind a bit.
I talked to Papa so I'm laying low until I hear from you. We're all thinking about you here.
Hang in, sister.
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